letter to my son

1. Step B: Contemplation aka "cost/benefit analysis"


2. Stage D: The moment of truth

This is going to be something regular now, my darkest secret has been rearing in my life much more and knowing that having kids and a legacy is top on my list, i am going to have a letter with lessons to my yet to be born son every once in a while.
I quote a friend when he said " One day i'll die and with every tweet my son reads, i'll be less dead to him".
Dear Son,
I don't know if you've grown to be a decent young man or not, but because you're my son i know you'lI make one hell of a man, a charismatic leader, a strong yet gentle man and a successful persona.
I hope you read this letter and grasp it before the time comes and you need it. I will flag it and leave it in my closet.
If i am still around i promise to be your support and your wingman, if i don't make it read that letter however, it will only take you too far and you'll have to figure out the rest on your own but definitely you'll find it less confusing than women.
One day you'll think that you're in love, and when you do you'll get all fizzy dizzy and ride the emotional roller coaster; DON'T this is why i left you that letter my son.
Love like any other thing comes down to a science, don't believe those philosophical boy lovers who said that "At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet".
Love comes on stages my boy and this is my contribution to your world.
Stage A: Recognition aka "The initial sting"
The first stage is recognition, you'll suddenly see her amongst the crowds, time will freeze and she'll emerge as the princess in a glamouring veil.
She may say something brilliant, stupid or even insulting but that will just make you notice her more.
For me and your mum; well it was different; she did the simplest of things with never seen before elegance, excellence was a habit for her and i couldn't do anything but love her.
You wont be able to control your feelings at this point just go with it and see where it takes you, you can easily tell her you like her, i did that with your mother but it took me a while. You'll get that sting from many women in your life but not many of them will last.
The beetles put it best when they sang "Well she looked at me, and I, I could see. That before too long I'd fall in love with her.
She wouldn't dance with another (whooh). When I saw her standin' there. "

Step B: Contemplation aka "cost/benefit analysis"

If woman makes it to this step son, know she's gonna leave a mark and a memory in your life, not necessarily bad but it'll be there. The contemplation phase following the first phase is very important.
It makes you think about the presence of this person in your life, you think about her when she's away or when you're away, you try to come up with her role in your life and the reasons of why your missing her; basically you'll try to rationalize it and the answer will be different from a woman to another.
When you're at that phase i want you to understand that people aren't spare parts where you can mix and match, people come as a neatly packed and packaged and these different packages are what attracts us to them in the first place.
She may be smart, beautiful, looks great in fancy dresses and also is a totally cool tomboy, it may be her eyes and the way she looks and let me tell you my boy a woman's look has the potential to rip your heart out in joy or pain.
This phase is the most important at all, as i said before and i never repeat myself but this is important; you'll be trying to position her in your life, take your time but don't be a turtle either.
You may catch yourself trying to play tricks to hang out with her more, thats normal you're just trying to establish rapport to get to know who she really is at heart. Just take care women don't like guys who hang out there waiting for them.
Live your life, show her who you are, make her like your for who you truly are and not who she wants you to be, because if you do that you can pull if off for a while but not for a lifetime.
For me and your mum it was different, she was one of those career rising stars, while on the other hand i lived to express myself and in doing so i enriched the world.
But we made it, don't ask me how but we just clicked on so many levels and it didn't matter. If she passes this stage you'll go to another one.
Also Read: letters to my son 2: Human Nature
Also Read: Letters to my son 3
Also Read: Letters to my son 4: The measure of your WORD
Stage C: The epiphany aka "Face Pie"
one day my boy you'll wake up and you'll know you want her. Its going to come alone on its own. The results will be either of 2. she may like you and she may not, either ways its nothing to cry about.
If she doesn't like you then she doesn't, you might wanna save face and run or you may drop the bomb either ways its over. However, if she likes you, its easy move to the next stage.

Stage D: The moment of truth

Knowing that both of you are interested, you have to see her a lot, when she's fun, when she's down, happy, sad, party mode, sleepy, cool, pms'ing, just got of bed, stinking, work mode don't go after the model of الحلو حلو لو صحي من النوم و الوحش وحش لو استحمى كل يوم its very misleading. Also, measure her up intellectually, i mean no one could have given me an intellectual orgasm like your mum did, she was very challenging and we were always pushing each other to new heights.
Don't cave it in, get out in the open, be transparent, speak your heart out she'll like you even more. And as bryan adams put it "Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms You know you really love a woman.
If you really love her, trust her and tell her your deepest and darkest secrets, she'll take it to the grave with her if she loves you.
refrain from getting physical, any animal can do it, be different, be a human. Plus at this period it will only "add insult to injury" as your uncle ghaddafi put it, its going to add another level of complication at this stage. Plus your my son and you can keep it in your pants !
These my son are the stages of love, i hope this letter helps you and i hope you can choose the right woman. I cant go after that its all on you my son,
Your Loving Father
PS: watch this it was a big hit when i was a kid