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نوفة2007
The same words over and over again. None of them would bring my mother back. She was dead- Dead; my dearest, my most beloved, my best friend would no longer come to me, advise me, cook me her specialties and hug me.
My mother suffered a terrible end. No dignity, just pain, endless pain. The cancer had ravaged her body so she was no longer the person I knew physically. However, as a mother she never changed and her faith amazed me everyday . Imagine, a woman of fifty five years old who had lost her left breast due to cancer but still felt happy and cheerful. If someone asked her if she was unhappy due to her illness, she would smile and say "This is the fate of Allah, and I can't be unhappy for anything that comes from Allah'.
She was the best mother by far. I am not just saying this because she was my mother, a lot of people agree with me. She was much loved and respected by a lot of people because she was patient and a strong woman. She was generous towards everyone, dependable and efficient. She was also kind, wise and faithful. She sympathised with children, respected people and helped the poor, that is why everybody loved her and cried a lot during her illness and when passed away. She was a mother of twelve children (five boys & seven girls). In addition, She has also our father because we had lost him when we were little. She taught us, advised us, took care of us and sacrificed herself for us. Even after her operation she was living normally as if nothing had happened, so as not to worry us.
She was my best friend. I still love her very much and I don't know how I can live without her. She favoured me most and was deeply concerned about my abilities. No one can understand how much she loved me.
The illness came after she had a big party at home. The next day she said "My dear, I am not feeling well, I have got a bad headache." A feeling of great fatigue came over her, very unusual for a woman who never felt tired. We went to a doctor, had countless tests and checkups. She was not convinced with the tests results. "They are wrong, doctors make mistakes" she said, "We'll go to other medical centers, other doctors, anywhere, this is not correct." But they were correct. We were soon totally consumed by the disease. Every waking moment was spent on doctor visits, hospitals, chemotherapy, radiation and other types of treatment. It was all we read and talked about. New and innovative treatments, __________ approaches, traditional medicine, and surgery. We tried every thing but nothing helped. The brain cancer was in its final stage and my mother was continuously suffering until she slipped in to a coma on the 3rd of February, 2005. She had felt good all day and at 4:45 am she convulsed and we had to transfer her quickly to the hospital by ambulance. I felt very sad as I saw her ride away in the ambulance and even felt worse when she was admitted to the intensive care unit. The room was filled with life support equipment around her. That was the worst day of my life. I screamed and cried but there was nothing I could do but pray to Allah.
Fourteen days later, the doctors asked us if we would like to discharge my mother so that she could be more comfortable at home, but we both knew the end was near. After we left the hospital, I felt relieved because my mother was with me at home. The worst thing was that she had to lie on her medical bed and was not allowed to move from it. She couldn't speak or eat like other mothers did. I now became like her mother. I didn't sleep until she went to sleep and I didn't eat until she felt full. I read the Quraan to her, I talked to her. Families and friends only visited for short periods so as no to disturb her.
Two months later, we transferred her back to the hospital. The doctors discovered something else in her lung, it was a blood clot. I felt dizzy when I heard about it. Every day she was getting weaker and weaker, unable to hold on. She was hospitalized for the last time. I felt this time she was going to leave us for good. The doctors informed us that there was no treatment for this illness and it was better to ask Allah to make her death peaceful.
On Monday Aug.22nd ,I was reading the Holy Quran to her while she was sleeping. Suddenly she moved my hand and gave me a nice smile and then she was gone. She had suffered this pain for one year before she passed away. I couldn't believe that she would go one day and leave us alone. I was screaming and crying when the doctors and nurses tried to calm me down. In that situation I remembered what my mother once told me, she said "Nouf, if something bad happens to me, don't cry and don't scream. Be strong, be patient, and pray two rakah to Allah and ask him to forgive me" . I did what she told me to do then I changed her clothes and wrapped her in a white cloth. The next day my sisters and I took her body to be washed and prepared for burial. I felt completely happy because she was smiling and her face was shining like a light.
I kept her clothes near me because they smelled like her. I wore her favorite scarf because it felt like her. I listened to her favorite cassette over and over again. It was the only way to feel her close to me. It has been very difficult to live without my mother.
"Mom, please forgive me if I have offended you or did not treat you well at anytime. I have always looked up to you and I thank you for giving me all of your time and advice. I will remember you forever. I will always follow what you have advised me to do. Everyday I pray to Allah to unite us in heaven."
My mother passed away and the first Ramadan and Eid arrived, I truly believe I had no life without her, absolutely no reason to go on living without her. Friends tried to help and close relatives visited but nothing helped. I needed my mother. I missed her very much.
I need your love mom. I need your hug. I need to say "mom" everyday. I need you to love me and pamper me. I need you to hold my hands and spoil me. I know mom you can't hear me but you have to hear me please …… please ….. please ..
I love you so much mom .
As much as I hate to think about hospitals I must never forget to thank the following doctors and nurses who stood by us and were helpful at all times.
Consultant, Oncology and in NGH .
Consultant, Hematology / Oncology
And all of the nursing staff in ward 19.
Written by:
Nouf Faraj AL-Noubi
22-12-2022 - 07:49 pm
My Dearest Mom
"Thank you…. I appreciate all you have done for us … It was kind of you to give so much of your time."The same words over and over again. None of them would bring my mother back. She was dead- Dead; my dearest, my most beloved, my best friend would no longer come to me, advise me, cook me her specialties and hug me.
My mother suffered a terrible end. No dignity, just pain, endless pain. The cancer had ravaged her body so she was no longer the person I knew physically. However, as a mother she never changed and her faith amazed me everyday . Imagine, a woman of fifty five years old who had lost her left breast due to cancer but still felt happy and cheerful. If someone asked her if she was unhappy due to her illness, she would smile and say "This is the fate of Allah, and I can't be unhappy for anything that comes from Allah'.
She was the best mother by far. I am not just saying this because she was my mother, a lot of people agree with me. She was much loved and respected by a lot of people because she was patient and a strong woman. She was generous towards everyone, dependable and efficient. She was also kind, wise and faithful. She sympathised with children, respected people and helped the poor, that is why everybody loved her and cried a lot during her illness and when passed away. She was a mother of twelve children (five boys & seven girls). In addition, She has also our father because we had lost him when we were little. She taught us, advised us, took care of us and sacrificed herself for us. Even after her operation she was living normally as if nothing had happened, so as not to worry us.
She was my best friend. I still love her very much and I don't know how I can live without her. She favoured me most and was deeply concerned about my abilities. No one can understand how much she loved me.
The illness came after she had a big party at home. The next day she said "My dear, I am not feeling well, I have got a bad headache." A feeling of great fatigue came over her, very unusual for a woman who never felt tired. We went to a doctor, had countless tests and checkups. She was not convinced with the tests results. "They are wrong, doctors make mistakes" she said, "We'll go to other medical centers, other doctors, anywhere, this is not correct." But they were correct. We were soon totally consumed by the disease. Every waking moment was spent on doctor visits, hospitals, chemotherapy, radiation and other types of treatment. It was all we read and talked about. New and innovative treatments, __________ approaches, traditional medicine, and surgery. We tried every thing but nothing helped. The brain cancer was in its final stage and my mother was continuously suffering until she slipped in to a coma on the 3rd of February, 2005. She had felt good all day and at 4:45 am she convulsed and we had to transfer her quickly to the hospital by ambulance. I felt very sad as I saw her ride away in the ambulance and even felt worse when she was admitted to the intensive care unit. The room was filled with life support equipment around her. That was the worst day of my life. I screamed and cried but there was nothing I could do but pray to Allah.
Fourteen days later, the doctors asked us if we would like to discharge my mother so that she could be more comfortable at home, but we both knew the end was near. After we left the hospital, I felt relieved because my mother was with me at home. The worst thing was that she had to lie on her medical bed and was not allowed to move from it. She couldn't speak or eat like other mothers did. I now became like her mother. I didn't sleep until she went to sleep and I didn't eat until she felt full. I read the Quraan to her, I talked to her. Families and friends only visited for short periods so as no to disturb her.
Two months later, we transferred her back to the hospital. The doctors discovered something else in her lung, it was a blood clot. I felt dizzy when I heard about it. Every day she was getting weaker and weaker, unable to hold on. She was hospitalized for the last time. I felt this time she was going to leave us for good. The doctors informed us that there was no treatment for this illness and it was better to ask Allah to make her death peaceful.
On Monday Aug.22nd ,I was reading the Holy Quran to her while she was sleeping. Suddenly she moved my hand and gave me a nice smile and then she was gone. She had suffered this pain for one year before she passed away. I couldn't believe that she would go one day and leave us alone. I was screaming and crying when the doctors and nurses tried to calm me down. In that situation I remembered what my mother once told me, she said "Nouf, if something bad happens to me, don't cry and don't scream. Be strong, be patient, and pray two rakah to Allah and ask him to forgive me" . I did what she told me to do then I changed her clothes and wrapped her in a white cloth. The next day my sisters and I took her body to be washed and prepared for burial. I felt completely happy because she was smiling and her face was shining like a light.
I kept her clothes near me because they smelled like her. I wore her favorite scarf because it felt like her. I listened to her favorite cassette over and over again. It was the only way to feel her close to me. It has been very difficult to live without my mother.
"Mom, please forgive me if I have offended you or did not treat you well at anytime. I have always looked up to you and I thank you for giving me all of your time and advice. I will remember you forever. I will always follow what you have advised me to do. Everyday I pray to Allah to unite us in heaven."
My mother passed away and the first Ramadan and Eid arrived, I truly believe I had no life without her, absolutely no reason to go on living without her. Friends tried to help and close relatives visited but nothing helped. I needed my mother. I missed her very much.
I need your love mom. I need your hug. I need to say "mom" everyday. I need you to love me and pamper me. I need you to hold my hands and spoil me. I know mom you can't hear me but you have to hear me please …… please ….. please ..
I love you so much mom .
As much as I hate to think about hospitals I must never forget to thank the following doctors and nurses who stood by us and were helpful at all times.
- Dr. Khaled Galal Morsi in SGH.
Consultant, Oncology and in NGH .
- Dr. Omalkhair A. Abulkhair
Consultant, Hematology / Oncology
- Dr. Mohammed AL-Fefi
- Dr. Shehri .
And all of the nursing staff in ward 19.
Written by:
Nouf Faraj AL-Noubi
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